Remember, “short on the sides” could mean a skin fade for one guy, or a subtle taper for another.
Ultimately, a good barber will know which one’ll suit you best.
Photo: Kyle Poulton works his magic on a client
Brighteyes Barbershop (Brantford, Ontario)

If men’s hair had an equivalent of the navy suit, it’d be the classic “short on the sides, and a little bit on top.”

And just like that well-tailored navy suit (one that’s hopefully bespoke, but hey), this haircut will take you anywhere and keep you looking good. And we do mean anywhere.

Best friend’s bachelor party?

Other best friend’s son’s bar mitzvah?

British thespian, Tom Hardy, rarely strays from a crew cut. And are you surprised? Watch any interview with the Hammersmith, London native and you’ll see his cut’s as no-fuss as his attitude.
There’s an aura of bedhead to Bane’s crew, but it works for a man who just doesn’t give it a shit what you think. Just make sure to use a good styling paste if you’re going the same route. It’ll add a touch of texture sans the shine of a pomade.
Photo: Wikimedia Commons | Gage Skidmore

Uncomfortable process during which you’ll sign papers?

Zoom interview?

Wear this cut and your hair will the day, product or no product. No joke.

Technically, they call this guy the “crew cut,” a term you’ve surely heard before. But not all crew cuts are the same. Take the now-popular French crop (check out the pic at the bottom of this article), a Caesar-meets-crew cut hybrid that blew up in England half a decade ago and has since made its way here. Basically, the rule of thumb is that not all haircuts with length on top and short sides qualify as crew cuts, but if that top length measures out to less than six inches, then it's a crew cut.

Either way, crew cuts are as versatile as they come; It won’t call for attention like that faux hawk you wore in high school, but it’ll still draw eyes for its clean, masculine sophistication. “I think crew cuts do a really good job of letting your natural features shine,” says Kyle Poulton, who plied his trade as Lead barber at Brantford’s Brighteyes Barbershop. “When you see celebs like Brad Pitt or Jake Gyllenhaal rock crew cuts, you’ll notice how good looking they really are.”

And yes, some might lean on the word “safe” here — we’re talking about one of the simplest cuts ever conceived. But when you’re looking at that picture of Tom Hardy in this post, does it look that safe?

“A crew cut will always see a person through,” says Jimmy Giroux, another pal of ours who’s also Co-Owner at Collective Haus in Sudbury. “In the Canadian Armed Forces, crew cuts were in demand as they looked clean and well-groomed when seen under the headdress, though that was before the update to regulations. And it had to look just as good whenever said headdress was removed, too… hence the drill command, ‘Remove Headdress.’ The maximum length allowed on top was six inches, which I wouldn’t consider a crew cut, but then, six inches of growth would have you looking like a mess when you took your headdress off. Shorter styles (enter crew cuts) eliminated the issue completely.”

What’s more, crew cuts transcend the face shape rule, one that admittedly demands an entire article (don’t worry, it’s on the calendar): Unless you’ve got an oval face — the likes of which’ll go with any hairstyle — steer clear of a cut that’ll clash with your face shape (and/or hairline).

“Just like the recent resurgence of long haircuts, I think people have shifted to lower maintenance cuts and a crew cut is perfect for that,” adds Poulton, who holds it down at Brighteyes Barbershop in Brantford. “You can wear it neatly, or you could tousle it up for a bit of a messy, ‘devil may care’ look.”

One Thing, Though

Don’t confuse this cut with its equally classic cousin, “short on the sides, long on top.” Both can be styled one of several different ways (looking at you slick-backs and Caesars), but where one’ll go heavy on the contrast between what’s up top and what’s on the sides, the other won’t. Rock the one that’ll suit you most, simple.

And if you’re unclear on the matter, like we always say, consult your barber.

Not the nice one, though—the one that’ll give it to you straight.

The One Haircut That'll Never Fail You

One Thing, Though